| Do you need immediate help? Please call the AA Hotline at (509) 735-4086 to speak with a volunteer who can help you. |
"But We Aren't A Glum Lot ...
We Absolutely Insist On Enjoying Life"
The above quotation from the book Alcoholics Anonymous (p 132) presents the idea that many if not most recovering alcoholics enjoy life much more than when they were still drinking. Part of this zest for life includes a newly found sense of humor, one that is a direct result from an improved perspective on their life ... what it was like, what happened and what it is like now.
Strictly For Laughs
THREE MAGIC FLIES
There was a newcomer sitting in a tavern talking to his sponsor.The newcomer looked over at the sponsor and asked him, "How do you tell a social drinker from a hard drinker from an alcoholic?"
The sponsor promptly reached into his vest pocket and pulled out a small little box. "You see this little box?" asked the sponsor. "I've got three magic flies in this box" continued the sponsor.
"And do you see those three people sitting over there at that table drinking?" the sponsor queried.
"Yes" replied the newcomer.
"Watch what happens as I let the first fly out of the box," the sponsor said.
The sponsor let the first fly out of the box and it flew over and landed in the first persons drink. They looked down and noticed the fly in their drink, got a look of disgust on their face, pushed the drink away, and then ordered another drink.
"That's the social drinker" says the sponsor.
"Now watch as I let the second fly out of the box."
The sponsor let the second fly out of the box and it flew over and landed in the second persons drink. The second person noticed the fly, got an uncomfortable look on their face, reached down and picked the fly out of their drink, and then drank the drink.
"That's the hard drinker" replied the sponsor.
The sponsor then let the last fly out of the box and it flew over and landed in the last persons drink. They looked down and spotted the fly in their drink, got an extremely angry look on the face, reached down with both hands and picked it up by it's little wings and hollered,
"O.K. you little S.O.B.!!! Spit that back out!!!"
"That's the alcoholic" the sponsor said, smiling.
IRISHMAN'S BROTHERS
An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time."The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there. The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: he orders three pints and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss."
The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye
and he laughs. "Oh, no." he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking."
THE LESSON
A woman was sick of her husband's drinking, so she decided to teach him a lesson. She dressed up like Satan, and when her husband returned home from another bender, she jumped out from behind the sofa and screamed. "You don't scare me," the man said, looking her over calmly. "I married your sister."
THE AA WISH
Two oldtimers and a newcomer were stranded on an island. After several months, one of them found a lantern on the beach, polished it clean, and out popped a genie. "In return for my freedom, I will grant each of you one wish", announced the genie.
The first old timer said, "I have a loving wife at home, my relationships with
my children have been healed, and I have four beautiful grandchildren. I surely
do miss them. I wish I were back home again." Poof. His wish was granted.
The second old timer said, "I miss my family too. And before we were stranded,
I had a wonderful career and a beautiful home. I wish to go home too". Poof.
His wish was granted.
The newcomer said, "My wife left me, my children hate me, I lost my house and
job. I have nothing to go back home to. The only friends I had in the whole
world were my two buddies here on the island, and they're gone. I sure do wish
they here now."
